Every couple is different. However, there are some common questions that planners encounter on a regular basis. Here, they break down some of them—as well as their answers to the inquiries.
"This might seem like an obvious question, but it's an important one to ask because each planner works differently and you need to find the one whose process works for you," says Melissa McNeeley, the founder and lead planner of Events by Melissa McNeeley. "All planners will coordinate the wedding day logistics: telling vendors where to go, being on the phone answering deliveries and questions, and scheduling the day. Many planners will also design the event—that is, come up with the look for the wedding, find the right partners to bring that vision to life and help you work through budgets and contracts. Some planners also happen to be florists or can make things for you, but that's not always the case."
Including your dress code on your invitation will help ensure your guests know exactly what attire to wear on your big day. However, if you have a particular vision in mind, there are also other ways to communicate your desired aesthetic. "We create fun mood boards on our client's wedding websites to further drive the inspiration and meaning behind the selected attire so that no guest has confusion," Vanco and Hall say.
Choosing your vendors can be one of the most challenging parts of the planning process. It's also one of the reasons why many couples opt to hire a wedding planner. "Book the essential vendors first," Vanco and Hall recommend. "Availability plays a large role in the order in which we secure our vendors. We have an in-depth conversation on what that looks like for each client and their specific needs. From there, we recommend the best vendors based on our client's budget, style, and personality."
"There can be a lot of fine print in wedding venue contracts," says Tzo Ai Ang, the founder of Ang Weddings and Events. "Make sure you know how much time you have to set up and when you need to be all packed up by. Are there any additional charges like a coat check, valet parking or restroom attendants? Are there any exclusive vendors you must use, and if so, what's their pricing? Also, always ask if gratuity is expected and how much. Sometimes the service charge is not given to the servers as gratuity. This is often overlooked by clients and should be considered in their budget."
Nowadays, more couples are hosting a wedding weekend, inviting their guests to participate in events and activities before and after their ceremony and reception. However, figuring out how to schedule these celebrations can be tricky. "We typically recommend a rehearsal dinner or welcome party the night before the wedding, and then a post-wedding brunch the day after the wedding," Vanco and Hall say. "If it’s a destination wedding, there may an opportunity for more activities for guests to enjoy together, such as hosting a boat excursion, lawn games, hikes, etc." However, while wedding weekends are increasingly more common, remember that having one isn't a requirement. Your big day can be just as special even if it's just that: one day.
While they're not mandatory, welcome bags can be a helpful—and thoughtful—addition. "Welcome bags are a great way to add information packets providing the itinerary for the weekend with details on each event, transportation, dress code, and logistics," Vanco and Hall say.
Absolutely not, says Ang. "You are already throwing a fabulous party with a beautiful venue, delicious food, and awesome music. But if you are doing favors, most people are pretty big fans of something edible."
"Almost every bride wants to be smart with her budget," says McNeeley. "But it's important that you're cutting corners the right way. Some things are not really negotiable: food is food and labor is labor and those things are a fixed cost. So instead of playing hardball with your photographer's rate, ask if you can get him for six hours instead of eight. Or, instead of trying to negotiate down the cost of a hundred Wagyu steaks, ask if there are more budget-friendly menu options available instead. People will be a lot more willing to work with you if you ask graciously and try to figure out ways to work within both side's budgets than directly saying: 'Hey can you go lower?'"
Even though you may feel as though you have an endless list of questions, there may be a few important ones that aren't on your radar. Here, planners offer some of the questions they wished couples asked throughout the planning process.
"I think a lot of couples get lost in the worlds of Instagram and Pinterest and often forget what is actually important to them," Lam says. "Don’t love the idea of a cake cutting? Skip it. Don’t go over the top on a cake just for a photo that you’re not going to cherish in the years to come." Think about what matters to you and your partner—and stick to that.
Your wedding is a celebration of your love—and should be treated as such. "An authentic wedding reflective of the couple is the one that feels the most right and every guest will feel that, so continue checking in with your partner throughout the process as the decisions ramp up," Vanco and Hall recommend.
For Vanco and Hall, this often-forgotten vendor is an essential—and necessary—part of your big day. "They are such a valued member of our vendor team (when they are included) and make sure the entire wedding party from the bride to the mother of the groom feels cared for," Vanco and Hall say. "Having them at your wedding for any fashion emergency that pops up, or to ensure your gown looks flawless is a worthwhile investment to us."